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Episode 010

What awakening is and how it can help to improve your life…

For this episode, I decided to switch it up and do things a little differently. Since it’s the 10th episode I decided to look back on this podcasting journey and take a look at what I learned about awakening from others, and from my own personal research.

I speak about what awakening is and how it’s helped me in my life. And so far there are three areas:

  1. It has helped me to overcome my bouts depression and anxiety more easily.
  2. It has helped me to get out of my own way
  3. It has helped me to have faith and trust in something beyond myself.

But for this episode, I’m speaking specifically about how it’s helped me to manage my depression and anxiety.

In this episode I talk about :

  • The resistance and fear I felt before starting this podcast
  • What awakening is
  • The ways my awakening has helped me in my life
  • How it’s helped me manage my depression
  • An analogy about our thoughts
  • Why establishing a daily meditation practice is so important
  • How to meditate
  • The I AM presence
  • How reconnection to Spirit and the Body has helped to heal my mind


When I first woke up, I remember telling my husband that I was having a spiritual awakening and I remember the look of concern that swept across his face. He didn’t know what was going on with me, How could he? I didn’t know what was going on! All he knew was that I turning in towards myself and becoming more reclusive. All I knew that was that my view on reality shifted suddenly. And things looked different and I felt a little crazy.
I suddenly knew that the spiritual world was indeed real. And that our consciousness does continue after our bodies stop working. That we come from the light and to the light we will return and that we are here momentarily to experience the physical world of duality in order to learn, grow and change – cause in eternity nothing changes – it just is.
I have learned so much in the year and a half since it first happened. Not only through my own personal research but through this podcast. This podcast has been revolutionary in my life.
Looking back at the 9 episodes that I’ve published, plus several more that are unpublished I’ve noticed that while each story is definitely unique, there are some definite themes.
I’ve learned that spiritual awakening means something different to everyone but at the crux of it we wake up with we are able to remove the boundaries that separate us and keep us small. When we start living from the perspective of our Essence.
I recently discovered a meditation app called Insight Timer says. It’s awesome. 1000’s of meditations for free. All types also, including ones on awakening. Their definition is  – “to ‘awaken’ is to step out of identification with thinking by becoming present. It is a shift in consciousness where thinking and awareness separate”
So what does that mean exactly?
It means that when we momentarily disconnect from our mind and reconnect back to our bodies and our Spirit, then we become more balanced with the mind, body, spirit trinity. Our mind has created cultural and personal boundaries that end up keeping us confined to only one way of perceiving and being. And by removing the boundaries you can step out and recognize the oneness within everything and everyone. Thereby seeing the light in everything.
So how has this ‘new reality’ actually helped me improve my life?
3 things so far:
  •  It helps me to overcome my bouts depression and anxiety more easily.
  • It helps me to recognize self-sabotaging behavior that helps me to get out of my own way.
  • It’s helped me to have faith and trust in something beyond myself.
But in this episode, I’ll be talking about depression and anxiety as it affects soooo many people. I have suffered from depression in the past. I’ve been on and off meds several times. But now, when I feel the pang of anxiety or the pit of depression, I can figure out the source of it more easily because I’m getting better at being able to follow my thoughts instead of getting absorbed by them.
This is why regular meditation is so important, because if you can watch your thoughts without attachment when you’re cool and calm, then it becomes so much easier to watch the thoughts when they’re crazy and going a 1000 miles a minute. When the critic is LOUD and incessant. When they’re telling you that you suck, that this is pointless, that no one like it, that no matter what you do you won’t succeed. When your thoughts give your feelings of hopelessness, despair and worry.
Our thoughts are like a flowing river. They never stop moving. Most of the time we are on the water, jumping from raft to raft. Each raft is an idea. Some ideas come from our mind and some come from Source. But either way we usually just jump from raft to raft. And because we spend so much time jumping we never actually see the whole river. We think we are part of it. And sometimes the river isn’t smooth. Sometimes it’s full of rapids and that’s when we’re constantly jumping from one raft to another trying to stay afloat.
But meditation does stop the river, it allows us to get off the river.
It allows us to jump off onto the banks and watch the rafts go by. They’re still there, they still come and go, but now you’ve taken the seat as the observer. And from that seat, your perception has expanded. You can see more of the river. And very often a raft comes by that looks interesting and we jump back on and get swept up again. But the key is to notice and gently make our way towards the bank.
When we start turning inwards, the thoughts automatically slow down. They’re not gone but they’re not as relentless. We can choose where we focus. Yes, our awareness gets swept up, When it does, as soon as you notice, get off and try again. You will always be trying again, very few of us get off the river permanently. but each time you’ll be able to hold the attention just a little bit longer.
Waking up has allowed to see the I AM presence within me. It has allowed me to see who and what I am. And while yes, I still get caught in the rapids, I’m getting off much more easily.  As Eckhart Tolle Says: “I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences. I am not the content of my life. I am Life. I am the space in which all things happen. I am consciousness. I am the Now. I Am.”
I’ve also learned that when stress is high it obviously increases my anxiety and or depression. And on those days that are super stressful, the ones that cause a tightening in my chest that just won’t go away despite all my methods of attempting to get rid of it, like eating too much or drinking. The only thing that really works is to find the thoughts that are causing it, accept the discomfort, know that it’s temporary and just let it be.
In a nutshell, I believe that by reconnecting back to Spirit I have become more not only spiritually more healthy but psychologically as well. I do a better job at turning down the critic. Of stopping self-sabotaging behavior. Of recognizing the mental patterns that play on repeat in my mind.
Now Am I perfect? Hell No! And I should take a min to preface something because I often see it in spiritual circles. I see this superiority complex occurring. So I just want to say that just because I’ve experienced a Spiritual Awakening does not mean that I’m any better than anybody else. I’ve always believed and still do that no one is better than anybody else. We ALL have our weakness and our strengths. I am not higher on the evolutionary ladder, and I’m not an enlightened being. I have not fully transcended my ego self. It’s still very much a part of me. And I’m ok with that.
The main difference is now I’m able to recognize my ego more and more and so I have more awareness to make choice from the perspective of love vs the perspective of fear. I do a better job of reconnecting back to my Spirit which a much better place to see the world from.