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Episode 011

What you focus on becomes reality, so what can you do to shift your perception?… 

Today, I’m doing a solo episode again because life happened. My father had a horrible fall. He fell down an elevator shaft and landed on his left side. He broke some ribs, his shoulder and shattered his elbow! Fortunately, he was able to receive the help he needed. It could’ve been so much worse.

My father’s accident reminded me about the importance of perspective. After all, what we focus on becomes our reality. So what happens when we focus on the difficulties in our life and how can we shift to a more positive view? That is the question that I’m exploring this episode.

In this episode I talk about :

  • How and why my father fell down an elevator chute
  • The positive lesson that he learned
  • The importance of being aware of your perspective.
  • How my miscarriage taught me about healing in order to shift my perception
  • The 4 steps to make a positive shift


So today I’m doing a solo episode again because Life happened. I had all these interviews lined up and then they each got canceled. The holiday season got crazy, my kids were sick, I was sick then my father had a horrible fall. He fell like 12 feet down an elevator shaft and landed on his left side. He broke some ribs, his shoulder and shattered his elbow. So I went back to my parent’s house which is like 4 hours away from where I live to see him in the hospital and to help my mom. He’s had his surgery and is now on the mend.
Anyways, that left me with no interviews for not only the week but the month as well. 
And when I started this I told myself that I was going to do a weekly show for a min of a year. So this is where I’m going with the flow and putting my faith in something greater than myself and I’ll create another solo episode. 
So here I am. But Before I get into it, if you’ve listened a few times and you enjoy both the solo and the interviews then please press pause for a min a leave a rating and or review. Or share it with a friend. This helps the show to grow. 
This episode I want to talk about the importance of perspective. Because our lives are completely determined but how and what we choose to focus on.  
Now I’m sure you’re curious exactly how my father fell down an elevator chute. Well, My parents installed the elevator in their house 10 years ago after my mom had a knee replacement and could no longer do the stairs. It’s not a typical elevator in the sense that you press a button and wait for it to come to you. With their elevator, you need to hold the button until it comes to you. However, my father didn’t do that. For some reason, he thought that the elevator was already on the main floor and the locking mechanism was obviously broken. So he stepped in and instead of finding solid ground, he stepped into an empty shaft and he fell 12 feet in the dark.
My parents live about a 4hour drive from where I live. So I decided that I would take the next day off work and to go and see how he was going. The whole day, I kept on thinking about how frightening and painful that experience must’ve been. I just kept on running the situation in my head. I was imagining what I would see when would visit him in hospital. I imagined him tied up to a whole bunch of cords and him lying there, pale skinned and in pain. With a look of anguish on his face.
But that’s not what I saw when I walked in.
I saw my father as I always saw him, sitting up in the chair next to the bed, surrounded by people and food. My father is the most generous man I know. If you come to our house, be prepared to eat. And it was no different in the hospital. There he was sitting up, pumped full of pain meds offering the nurses and anyone who came into the room something to eat. He was in a gown of course, but the only thing that was broken was his arm. His spirit didn’t seem broken at all. In fact, the very first thing he said to me was “You know what Alessandra? I have to tell you – The angels are real. You know I’ve always believed in them, but now I know.” So, of course, I asked him, what was his personal proof. “The timing,” he said. “It could’ve been so much worse. They don’t necessarily stop things from happening, but help is always there. “
That was my father’s perspective of plummeting 12 feet in the darkness and crushing his left side. 
I’m sure you know someone in your who would’ve experienced the same thing and would ’ve perceived the event complexly differently They would lie there in the hospital wondering why me? What did I do to deserve this? Why do bad things always happen to me? Why am I being punished….
Same situation, different perspective.
Life happens, but it’s all about what we focus on. 
The problem is that we are creatures of habit. Our brains are programmed that way. There is probably a biological reason. It must save our brains a tremendous amount of energy to just keep on running the same circuits instead of creating new ones. So our thoughts get into a habitual pattern and as a result, we get so stuck in the pattern that we don’t actually see it. 
The way I see a thought pattern is this:
A thought pattern is a thought that plays automatically in your mind. Imagine pacing 5 feet back and forth. And you repeat that pattern over and over again…. back and forth, back and forth. If you do this day after day after day, eventually a groove will appear on the floor. And if you did this enough times eventually that groove will turn into a hole, and that hole will get deeper and deeper and deeper until you can no longer see out of the hole. Now you’re stuck. 
A thought pattern is the same thing. We get so used to the thought that we build up walls around it and we can’t see a way out of it.   
So how do we get out of the hole? How do we see a situation from a different perspective?
The Course in Miracles says that a miracle is a shift from viewing the world via our ego or our separated, or small self, Or we can view the world as the way the Holy Spirit wants us to, from the perspective of love or our higher self. 
We can see it that that world is dark and scary, that we are bound to fall down a dark hole and crush our bones and then be full of self pity when it does. 
Or we can see that it’s abundant and full of light, and when we fall down a dark hole and crush our bones, then we are thankful that it’s not worse and we easily find the lesson in the hardship.
But the truth is we can’t always stay super positive. Even for my father. He’s going to have to come off the pain meds and he’s going to have to take time to heal. He has a long road ahead of him. It’s not going to be easy.
So how do we shift our perception when things are so crappy. When we’re totally immersed in the darkness that can sometimes overtake our lives. How do we see the light when our mind is so full of fear and lack and hurt.  
First, you gotta remember that everything is energy – so emotions, feelings, and thoughts are energy as well. This energy moves through us in a variety of forms. The first time I really realized this was when I had a miscarriage 4 years ago. My husband and I were not married at the time when I got pregnant. My family was super excited, but his was not – because they are very religious and we weren’t married. His daughter, who was 12 at the time had a very difficult time accepting the news. She wasn’t sad – she was devastated by it. I also learned that a former girlfriend of his had heard the news and she too was not pleased. 
So there were people in my life sending me good energy and some that were not. There were some people that did not want me to have this baby. 
So when I lost the baby, part of me blamed them for energetically contaminating the baby. I know that’s not true, but I still felt anger towards them. 
At the time my heart and my body were broken. I knew I needed to heal and healing I did. I learned that week what to do to effectively heal, let go and move on. 
I really believe that when shit happens in your life, give yourself permission to feel it. I know that some people in the New Age community are fearful of negative emotions because of the Law of Attraction, say that like attracts like but I believe that you have to fully transmute the energy otherwise it will actually stay stuck and you will attract more. 
Feeling sad, blah, anger, jealous – any low vibe emotion sucks. It’s horribly uncomfortable and when really strong, it’s downright painful. And when we’ve been carrying around this emotion for a while we will do anything to not feel it. And so we numb, through distraction, food, drink etc. Do your best to not do that. This keeps the energy stuck and the funk will fester and begin to manifest in different ways. Stuck negative energy will make our bodies sick, or we’ll be blind to our own darkness and we start to spread it around by projecting it onto others. 
So feel it the energy, and allow it to be. Give it space to exist within you.
Take a few minutes to be present within yourself. Notice where the energy is stored within you. Don’t judge, just notice. Are you carrying it in your shoulders? You back? Stomach? Just sit quietly and allow the feelings of discomfort to be there. Also, notice the thoughts that are popping up. What’s the story have you been telling yourself?
Next, you have to accept and know that this pain and discomfort is temporary. Even if the funk has lasted a while, this to shall pass. After all, the light is in you and will therefore return because it never leaves. Accept that this funk is your current reality at the moment and be ok with it. Surrender. 
Once you’ve fully allowed the energy to be and given it space to exist, it’s time to let go and start the shift…
One of the first steps in shifting is Asking for help. Ask the angels or Spirit to help. ACIM says that in order to receive a miracle (a shift in perception) you just gotta ask the Holy Spirit and it will help you. Simply ask not to change the situation, but to see it differently. To see the love or the lesson in it. To remove the blocks that are preventing you from seeing the truth. And then surrender and open. You have to be open to receive the new way of being. Release any and all expectations. Let Source move through you and show itself to you. Read a change me prayer. 
Now that we’re open, We need to release the energy within us. And I believe that the best way to do this is through doing something physical and/or creative. Ideally both. This causes the energy to cycle it within our body. It’s no longer stagnant and stuck. It’s starting to move so it can leave. There’s nothing like a good workout, a wander in the woods, or expressing your feelings through writing or painting.  Creativity and/or physical movement helps us to turn down the mind chatter and let the energy flow. A few asanas, knitting some baby booties. Something for you to release the energy within. The medium doesn’t matter. Whatever you feel is most cathartic. Because catharsis – or release of energy to feel relief is what we want. For me, it’s art journaling. The combination of writing, drawing while listening to music lets me get out everything I need and it makes it tangible. Something I can see, not just feel. 
Sometimes just a cathartic act can give us the relief we’re seeking and allow us to see more clearly.
Forgiveness and gratitude.
This one is tricky. When I lost my baby, I had to forgive a few people. Mostly myself because there were times in the pregnancy where I didn’t want the baby. Perhaps you funk is due to someone hurting you. Or you hurting yourself. I definition I’ve heard for the word forgiveness means to unite the knot – and that’s exactly what you do when you forgive. You untie the energetic cord that has bound you to the person or situation. And by uniting or cutting the cord, you get your power back. They are no longer keeping you connected to the energy. You have let it go. 
So by forgiving, surrendering and letting go that releases some of the boundaries and you can shift your perception. You can shift to a place of gratitude and reverence. 
I hope this helps you when things are looking a little bit grim. The 15th-century Persian poet Hafiz wrote: “I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.”
The light is Always, always there. For it is you. See through its eyes. 
If you’ve enjoyed this episode then please take a min to rate and review it. Or if you have a friend that is going to through a dark time and needs some help in shifting her perception then please share the episode. 
Thanks so much for being here. In light and love, I’ll see you next week.